Essays / Satiric

MY DEAR PRESIDENT BUHARI, SHAME ON YOU | by Ayo Sogunro

ASK: “WHAT HAS NIGERIA DONE FOR ME?”

As I have suspected for a while, the unsolicited trekking I undertook from Yaba to Ojota to protest the 2012 subsidy removal is now just an intensive workout session. President Buhari and his team of economic wanksters have taken a leaf from Jonathan and his team of economic wanksters. Worse, the new economists in town have outdone Jonathan’s ambitions of N141/l; they have pushed the price up to N145/l—in spite of Fashola’s touted logic on falling crude oil prices.

What does Nigeria really do for anyone? The government owns and controls all land, waterways and natural resources. Yet, Nigerians still pay taxes, charges, tolls, tariffs, rates, fees, duties and even bribes just to get standard services. Free education is a packaged myth. Low-cost housing is non-existent. Subsidised agricultural products—you joke. Welfare? Universal healthcare? Nada. The only shambolic thing this country has attempted to give all citizens freely is the fake-ass subsidy on petroleum. And now, even that has to go.

REMEMBER OCCUPY NIGERIA

Unfortunately, the partisan foolishness that rented part of our brains during the 2015 elections has now decided to buy the entire space. In the midst of this depressing news, some APC fools and some PDP fools have decided to exchange follies and turn the fate of Nigerians into a popularity contest between Jonathan and Buhari. A plague on both your houses!

Do not let these “my-intelligence-is-for-sale-to-politicians” activists deceive you with rhetoric: Occupy Nigeria was not about the character of Jonathan. For fuck’s sake, Jonathan hardly had any character in late 2011. He came into power in 2010 and spent the first year pussyfooting as a nice guy.

Do not let these irrational mathematicians deceive you with figures and claims of “no money”: Occupy Nigeria was not about numbers.

So, what was Occupy Nigeria about?

Occupy Nigeria was a resistance against the imposition of additional economic costs on Nigerians despite continuous government wastage. The subsidy removal meant low-income and poor Nigerians—some 112 million people—would face an increase in the price of transportation, raw materials, services and consumer goods. Yet, politicians will continue to get cars, houses, allowances, healthcare, special assistants, private jets and whatnot. This injustice was unjustifiable in 2012 and it is unjustifiable in 2016.

Occupy Nigeria was not the half-assed anti-GEJ campaign that APC’s revisionists are trying to make it. For those who remember, Occupy Nigeria was a protest against the collective wastage of Nigeria’s government inclusive of ACN, APGA, ANPP, CPC and PDP. Occupy Nigeria would have happened whether or not GEJ was president.

I pity the conscience of the APC fools congratulating themselves on their ability to move from Occupy Nigeria to Partisan Nigeria. Their justification—that Buhari’s government has integrity—is utter rubbish. Integrity is earned not conferred. While Buhari may have personal integrity, his government is yet to PROVE that it is different from previous governments. Buhari’s focus, so far, has been on tackling the corruption in Jonathan’s government. Nothing indicates that Buhari’s government will not be proven equally corrupt come 2019. In any case, what comfort will the factory worker whose expenses no longer fit into her income derive from the knowledge that Buhari, and not Jonathan, is responsible for depriving her?

I pity the conscience of the PDP fools rejoicing that GEJ has been “vindicated”. How does a latter evil justify an earlier evil? GEJ was wrong and Buhari is also wrong. Their maths may be correct but their choice of victim is wrong. Whatever the economists may say, there is absolutely no reason why ordinary Nigerians—and not the government—should pay the price for inefficiency. If GEJ had sold his jets and zoos rather than attempt to remove subsidy, maybe he would have won a second term.

ONE DAY, THE POOR WILL EAT THE ECONOMISTS

But what about the maths? Maths can be written and re-written. The government issues oil blocs, licenses oil mines, controls the borders, controls foreign exchange, and licenses marketers. Yet, it insists, somehow, that Nigerians must pay for government incompetence and political patronage. If the government can’t lower the maths or fix the scams, then it should bear the brunt. Why should Nigerians suffer because the government is inefficient as a subsidy policeman?  It is that simple.

But Nigerian politicians are all selfish. Buhari will rather maintain a presidential fleet than reduce the Budget. Some say there is no available foreign exchange–there is never available foreign exchange for Nigerians. Yet, politicians are still mooching on our resources. From the President to the most junior legislator, these politicians are fed, clothed, bathed, transported, secured, and may even get buried at the expense of the Nigerian state. Where does the money come from? Damn, even the Obama family pays for their own meals in the White House. When we are done selling all the stupid cars piling up in Abuja then—and only then—can the president look Nigerians in the eye and say: “Folks, it’s your turn to pay up. Otherwise, why should Nigerians pay for the crimes of the looters when the moochers are having a field day?”

EVERYTHING IN NIGERIA IS GOING TO KILL YOU

What’s the way forward? Well, we will take our punishment lying down. Anyone looking for a protest to launch their political career should find another topic. As for me, I will simply try to insulate myself against policies like this. My sympathies to all the Nigerians who have little or no control over their economic fates. They are going to have a very bad year. But, at least, we can still curse.

And so:

-Here’s to you, my dear President Buhari: shame on you for your unwillingness to cut down official waste and your willingness to add to the economic burdens of Nigerians.

-Here’s to APC and their collection of fools: shame on you for taking our side when you had no power and for suddenly seeing the other side now that you have power.

– Here’s to PDP and their collection of fools: shame on you for being PDP, and for being so bad that Buhari started to look good to Nigerians.

And if any of you above-listed assholes pops into my comments to defend why ordinary Nigerians—and not the government—should suffer this 2016, may the 401 gods of Ife confer eternal suffering on you and your descendants.


Ayo Sogunro was called a “paid APC agent” when he criticised the inefficiencies of the Jonathan administration. Because  people are forgetful or mischievous, he has now been called a “closet GEJ sympathiser” for criticising the inefficiencies of the Buhari administration. Ayo Sogunro is unimpressed by both labels. But, he remains committed to the Change agenda.

Follow @ayosogunro on twitter for more engagement, buy his books, and—if you really like stimulating, if sometimes annoying—very annoying—thoughts on socio-legal philosophy—enter your email in the right sidebar to get notifications of fresh talk on this fine blog.

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41 thoughts on “MY DEAR PRESIDENT BUHARI, SHAME ON YOU | by Ayo Sogunro

  1. The subsidy subject-matter is a touchy one, but then the current policy is a bitter pill we’ll all have to swallow in good faith seeing as it’s sustenance hasn’t still brought an end to the multifarious problems faced by an average Nigerian.

    This is a case of making a difficult choice between the devil and the deep blue sea seeing as the subsidy regime (with its attendant endless fuel queues) hasn’t still brought succour to Nigerians.

    The emphasis should now be placed on reviewing the minimum wage upwards, since that’ll be a path of less encumberance.

    Let’s give this a try. Nigeria will come around soon enough. Hopefully.

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  2. Some of us have asked similar questions in the past. Why maintain the fleet? Why have the number of planes not been reduced? Too much waste in keeping the ‘people in Abuja’. Sadly they still want to punish the common man.

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  3. Well written and well said Ayo, as at yesterday all kinds of emotions clouded my thoughts, mostly detest towards our so-called political leaders and I sought for some kind of closure and your piece did that.. Cheers!

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  4. Thank you Ayo. Our intellectuals can be bought at a very cheap price. Who can we turn to? It is our collective helplessness that is confounding. May God help us.

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  5. Ayo at this rate, EFCC would soon invite you to account for your source of funds in publishing books. O kaare my brother.

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  6. Well done sir my boss, may your pen never go dried. Hypocrisy is to oppose a policy while in opposition and do the exact when suddenly you found yourself in power. May God have mercy on our Country!!

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  7. Good anaylsis Ayo…..this is my first time visiting your blog and from my first impression it seems you are one the few ones who supported the ‘change’ mantra that still speak the truth. Please never stop because at the end of the day it was never about any party….but how to make things better in our country.

    What also beats me is that our president had to be in far away London and did not have enough temerity to tell himself about this policy. He is afterall our minister of petroluem.

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  8. My own take on the issue is if this government fail after 4-8years in office then revolution is the next thing because it Will be 16years of PDP and 4-8 years of APC are just lies and I will only stop believing if after the tenure of this present government we still don’t have a blueprint of our economy I.e stable electricity, good roads and jobs. #GODblessNIGERIA

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  9. Fantastic article. As Fela said, nothing ever changes between our rulers.

    I get my money
    Plan my plan finish
    Start to go for market
    Start to go for shopping
    Before I reach market nko o?
    Government show don enter
    My plan don spoil o
    Government show don enter
    My plan don spoil o

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  10. Garri used to be 300/4ltr bowl, its 600 now… Have u bought tomato lately,4 small pieces at 200.sometimes i go to the market and just return home without buying a thing,tfare nko

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  11. Brilliant piece. Very objective in its analysis. Non-partisan and also appeals to those who love to hear the truth with an unbiased mindset.

    keep up the good work!

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  12. I am going to jump into your comments and this is what i will say.

    Nigeria needs more of people like you (in power).

    I have said it over and over again and the next time we see ( hopefully soon)
    I will re-echo it.

    JFK

    Like

  13. I have argued all my senses out on this latest instalment of hardship by the APC-Government on Nigeria(ns). You article very effectively captures the thoughts of thoughtful Nigerians (pun intended) on this current wickedness. And how I have shared the piece. You wrote it all Mr. Ayo. God help Nigeria.

    Like

  14. Pingback: MY DEAR PRESIDENT BUHARI, SHAME ON YOU | by Ayo Sogunro | Breaking Times

  15. About occupy Nigeria, we did it wrong the first time. If it’s ever to be done again, we should focus on the governments excesses. We need fewer numbers and more economically viable states, few members in the house of assemblies, members of the house should source for their personal living.

    Like

  16. Pingback: Dear President Muhammadu Buhari, Shame on You! | NaijaExclusive.net

  17. From occupy Nigeria to partisan Nigeria, EVERYTHING IN NIGERIA IS GOING TO KILL YOU.

    Thought provoking. Very well said bro. That sign out is the bomb.

    May all the 401 gods of Ife strike down all those troubling the downtrodden.

    Amin ase Edumare.

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  18. I love your timely article brother. I want you to continue to be unbiased and keep this present government on their toes. They need to stop complaining and start to workout their #fantasticallypromisedchange

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  19. Ayo I think u have said it all,but no sane man puts his future in the hands of a man whose future is over at 74years,where is the motivation for planning coming from? The truth is that water cannot flow backwards,so I wonder what do we expect. Good write up bro.

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  20. It’s almost like it has reached d stage where God himself has to personally come down to earth to rule Nigeria for tins to get better again. Life is so so hard right now. Buhari’s regime is not impressive so far, worse still, has stopped feeling Nigerians’ pains. Aren’t we just a “fantastically corrupt” Nation??
    It is well in God’s name! The Lord shall provide all our needs, come what may..

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  21. I disagree with you because you blindly took ACTIVE part in OCCUPY NIGERIA without looking inward. You were carried away by the gimmicks of POWER HUNGERED PEOPLE LIKE THIEFNUBU who now lives in Abuja having gotten the power by ALL MEANS AND AT ALL COSTS. The whole essence is to PUSH GEJ away and they succeeded in fooling you all. Buhari himself have NOTHING to offer this nation but just to be in power. I bet it 1983 will repeat itself. Having contested for 12 years for the same post , see what have happened in the last 1 year. 😜 go back to history and ask what happened in 1983. Buhari is an insensitive man who care less about who suffers and for what. It was his time that we queue to buy common bath soap , washing soap , other house hold items became ESSENTIAL COMMODITY CALLED **ESECO** then. Milk was a taboo, and he was busy jailing people 100 years / 200 years. Thiefnubu has participated in so many protests; NADECO days and others. But today he has occupy aso rock villa. Shame on all of you that he rode your shoulder to power, Ayo inclusive. And I can assure you that YOU HAVEN’T SEEN ANYTHING YET . this is suffer, suffering is coming.

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  22. I just love the way Ayo spared no one. Its easy to rationalize the FG policies until you see the effects on the masses.
    The factory workers earning 22000 Naira per month, The conductors with family to feed, etc .
    I pray soon, True change will come, OR the masses will reach out to TAKE IT.

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  23. I like your piece. It’s quite incisive somehow but half a sec, don’t tell me you weren’t fooled to occupy Nigeria in 2012. You were part of the problem because ’twas actually a good policy and still is. I supported subsidy removal in 2012. And because mama didn’t raise no fool I still support it in 2016 because it’s a way to go. Don’t be a repentant retard all of a sudden because you think the change mantra which most of you were fanatics and slaves to is not happening and which nobody cares because we are not asking this APC-led govt to provide us with their clueless and worthless change which they have installed on us already, but to maintain the status quo pending the perhaps, promised change. But well I won’t be hard on you, Must commend you for speaking out loud where there is so much silent amongst “fools”, gullible ones, fanatics of change and Buharihives who are aimlessly drifting already to re-launch their worthless hash tag #OccupyNigeria, which is plainly seen, was done in sheer hatred of GEJ and nothing else because there was sand sand in their eyes then. I must commend you for raising your head to call for a better Nigeria and for not sparing the economic illiterate who parades himself as your president and took months to employ the services of quacks in the name of picking integrity. I wonder how Nigeria, a home of fertile brains ended up with a bitter kola and gworo chewing man who has little or no education to muster rock. Well since you’re now telling us you’re delivered from shackles of that occupy and shit, I wish you well, but pls i’d still love to see one or y’all fools who instigated it ab initio in 2012 should hide yo faces in your damning hardship already.

    Like

  24. I like your piece. It’s quite incisive somehow but half a sec, don’t tell me you weren’t fooled to occupy Nigeria in 2012. You were part of the problem because ’twas actually a good policy and still is. I supported subsidy removal in 2012. And because mama didn’t raise no fool I still support it in 2016 because it’s a way to go. Don’t be a repentant retard all of a sudden because you think the change mantra which most of you were fanatics and slaves to is not happening and which nobody cares because we are not asking this APC-led govt to provide us with their clueless and worthless change which they have installed on us already, but to maintain the status quo pending the perhaps, promised change. But well I won’t be hard on you, Must commend you for speaking out loud where there is a shocking silence amongst “fools”, gullible ones, fanatics of change and Buharihives who are aimlessly drifting already to re-launch their worthless hash tag #OccupyNigeria, which is plainly seen, was done in sheer hatred of GEJ and nothing else because there was sand sand in their eyes then. I must commend you for raising your head to call for a better Nigeria and for not sparing the economic illiterate who parades himself as your president and took months to employ the services of quacks in the name of picking integrity. I wonder how Nigeria, a home of fertile brains ended up with a bitter kola and gworo chewing man who has little or no education to muster rock. Well since you’re now telling us you’re delivered from shackles of that occupy and shit, I wish you well, but pls i’d still love to see one or y’all fools who instigated it ab initio in 2012 should hide yo faces in your damning hardship already.

    Like

  25. I think your piece is quite incisive..but I have to disagree that ‘one day the poor will eat economists’ because they are not the cause of their predicament but the political interpretation of unbiased economic analysis by our very dear politicians

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  26. Great post, Ayo. The words convey the pain. The message is clear: it isn’t about the math.

    BUT, how long are we going to keep waiting for phantom illusive palliatives? Since GEJ reverted his policy, have the lives of Nigerians improved? What would have happened if we removed subsidy five years ago? We all know that whenever we fight the government on this issue, they cave, go back to business as usual, then the cycle reprises.

    The sad truth is that there is little the presidency can do about senators’ earnings, it is obviously incompetent on the economy, etc.

    For me, I think we should start asking ourselves if we want to see a country that functions, regardless of the current ineptitude of our leaders.
    Since we have (rightly) reduced this debate to ‘black and white’, I will support this policy and bank on the imminent deregulation of the oil and gas sector.

    Like

  27. Pingback: Ayo Sogunro: Social critic talks about Literature, LGBT rights, Nigerian government

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