- Never Outshine Your Overlord. Make social media superiors appear more brilliant than they actually are.
- Never Put Too Much Trust in Followers. They will betray you quickly if necessary.
- Conceal your Errors. Learn to delete that which ought to be deleted.
- Always Tweet Less Than Necessary. Sometimes, 140 characters may be too much.
- So Much Depends On Your Bio. Don’t take it for granted.”Pimp it up” regularly.
- Court Followers at All Cost. Be outrageous, be seen. Better to be insulted than to be ignored.
- Let Others Tweet The Good Stuff, Then Copy and Paste. Originality is overrated on social media.
- Make Followers Come to You. Do not beg for followers: at least, not publicly.
- Win The Arguments on Your Timeline By Blocking Them First. Reasoning won’t work for most people.
- Avoid Engaging the Zero Followers and the Eggs. Or you’ll be missing the point of this Ponzi Scheme.
- Keep Your Followers Dependent on You. Give them the breaking news first!
- Selectively Follow Back. And Selectively Unfollow.
- When You Want a Retweet, Appeal To the Overlord’s Self-Interest. Not to their common sense, there’s often little or none.
- Tweet Like a Friend, Retweet like an Enemy. Retweets are endorsements, one way or the other.
- Unfollow Those Who Don’t Follow Back. Except your Overlords. Always follow your Overlords.
- Don’t Be Available Always. Pretend to be offline, but monitor the timeline closely.
- Cultivate An Air of Unpredictability. You don’t have to retweet every flattering mention.
- Isolation is Dangerous. Influence is not a padlock. Don’t be tempted to “protect” your tweets.
- Know Who You’re Dealing With. Try not to offend a potential Overlord.
- Don’t Commit to Any Tweep. Maintain the middle ground during an argument between others.
- Play A Sucker to Catch a Sucker. Use direct messages to entice and seduce. “DM” is for dominate.
- Use The Questioning Tactic. Use humble questions to engage your social media superiors.
- Concentrate Your Tweets. Tweeting random topics randomly is for the amateur.
- Play the Courteous Tweep. Acknowledge the juniors. Flatter the superiors. Spread influence all round.
- Re-Create Yourself. Your account doesn’t necessarily have to be you.
- Keep Your Tweets Clean. Insist that your retweets are not endorsements.
- Create A Cultlike Following. Make yourself out to be the Messiah in your chosen field.
- Always Tweet With Boldness. Never hesitate or prevaricate on an issue.
- Plan All The Way to the End. Overlordship—influence—is the target, or you may as well quit now.
- Make Your Twitter Influence Seem Effortless. Because you’re just naturally influential.
- Control The Options. Act. Never react—not even to trolls.
- Play To People’s Fantasies. Have an exotic bio—and post pictures to support it.
- Discover What Pleases Your Followers. And when you do, Favourite their tweets.
- Act Like An Overlord To Be Treated Like An Overlord. Nobody is going to actually crown you as one.
- Master The Art of Timing. Know when your followers are online and ready to engage.
- Disdain Those Who Refuse To Follow You. Ignoring their existence is the best revenge.
- Have A Compelling Avatar. Heighten your personality.
- Tweet As You Like, But Behave Like Others. Don’t be a snob; take part in the popular trends.
- Stir Up The Timeline to Catch New Followers. A slow news day is a good day to spread your influence.
- Do Not Buy Followers. Well, buy followers—but if exposed, you can never regain your influence.
- Avoid The Pointless Argument. One argument too many, and you could lose your influence.
- Strike at the Overlord And the Followers Will Scatter. Go directly to the source of a trend.
- Work On The Hearts Of Others. Be strategically emotional with the wording of your hashtags.
- Disarm and Infuriate With The Mirror Effect. Use memes and parodies to diminish the influence of your rivals.
- Preach Reform, But Follow The Popular Opinion. If it’s trending, it’s trending. Don’t knock it.
- Never Appear Too Perfect. Allow your followers believe that their recommendations are welcome.
- Learn When To Stop. Arrogant overconfidence can reduce your influence. Don’t get personal.
- Assume Formlessness. Treat labels like libel. Do not get labelled.
Advertisements
Reblogged this on UnilagLss.
LikeLike
I found your article so entertaining that I decided to a version pertaining to photography on my blog. You can find it here: http://avotography.com/blog/2015/10/19/the-48-laws-of-photography
LikeLike