Today, we’ll talk about women —because we like women a lot on Idlemindset and also because, recently, it has been a trend on the social media and blogging circuits to decry rape, violence against women and other forms of abuse against the feminine sex, and we are eager to lend a voice to this crusade. You can read some enlightening and heart-aching articles here, here, also here and here. And unless your heart was formed from a one night stand between a chunk of diamond and a piece of granite, you would whip out your anti-rape cutlass and go after the heads of rapists with the vengeance of a traumatized father.

An eye for an eye and a thrust for a thrust.

The punishment will be made to fit the crime—like a well tailored glove.

Of course, there is nothing funny about rape, and so we will address this issue with the level of sobriety it deserves—with plenty cussing and wanton spitting. So if you can’t cuss and spit where you are, just fix an expression of metaphysical seriousness on your face while reading this post, and it will be quite appropriate for the occasion.

Also, keep your fingers on Alt+tab and your boss will be none the wiser.

Also, keep your fingers on Alt+tab and your boss will be none the wiser.

Now, most religious and social philosophies firmly place the blame for rape on the feminine of the human species—because, you see, intelligence is neither spiritual nor cultural. And, also, because gods and men have never heard of male rape. But that fucked-up mindset has found less ground today. Women, having wised-up in this current civilization, have, equally been eager to serve a blame backhand to the male of the species for being incontinent assholes. And so the blame game between men and women goes back and forth—because, you see, intelligence is also neither masculine nor feminine.

But, let’s face it, men have the weaker bargaining position.

But, today we want to shift to another set of people who inspire the fucked up mentalities that allow violence against women: some other women. And by “women”, we do not refer to that hot girl in a tight bikini; but to the general category of females who are the first to cast stones against their fellow women on issues of gender relations and violence against women. You know those kind of women: the ones with the “serves you right” mentality.

"Go ye into the world and judge all nations. Yep. that's how Jesus said it."

“Go ye into the world and judge all hos. Yep. that’s how Jesus said it.”

These are the kind of women who promote laws that limit women’s freedom of dressing and appearance, or promote ideas like this insane website geared towards returning women to the era when a man can marry a woman by simply carrying her off  the streets and into his house. But not all women are as straight-up treacherous as to sponsor a law against “indecent” dressing or promoting an association to suppress female progress. Most times, encouraging violence against women is effected in the most subtle of ways—through the wacky gender philosophies that women teach their children and also through the promotion, by women, of what Wikipedia calls: ideologies of male sexual entitlement.

"No honey, no bikini. Good girls wear gowns to the beach."

“No honey, there’s no bikini for you. Good girls wear gowns to the beach.”

Children are born without any impressions of male and female norms; but society, through the parents, impresses them with relevant social discrimination.  This discrimination includes ethnic, national, race and gender types. And, if we consider the stereotypical—and abominable—nonchalance of fathers in child-rearing, we can encourage mothers to take advantage of their roles by positively influencing the mindset of children on gender relations.

"John, you'll become the President. Janet, you'll become a president's wife. Now smile."

“John, you’ll become the President. Janet, you’ll become a president’s wife. Now smile both of you.”

A male child who grows up with the impression that men are superior to women or that girls who dress expressively are sluts, available for his taking, will eventually mature into the kind of man who takes provocative dressing as an excuse to rape a woman—or even children. And a girl who is taught by her mother that she will be raped if she dresses sexily will have no sympathy for women who get raped. Instead, she will advise the female victim to dress more decently and to accept the female role of subservience. But, that is the fucked-up thing about rape—no excuse can, or should be allow to, justify its existence.  Instead, maybe the most appropriate way to rehabilitate a rapist is to chain him up in a room with photographs of naked women until he learns that the mere existence of something does not make it available for the taking.

"If its on display, then it must be free of charge." Wrong.

“If its on display, then it must be free of charge.” Wrong.

But men in general, and rapists in particular, cannot understand that fundamental logic that a woman’s body is her body and nobody else’s until women themselves begin to drum this fact into men’s heads—in both ways. A woman’s body is not for her father, not for her brothers, uncles, nephews, boyfriend, husband, society nor God.  Yes, God is included in this list because—the last time we checked, the Big One is not interested in the maleness or femaleness of a human body. On the plus side, at least someone got arrested for stating that Islam permits rape.

His beard was confiscated as a tool of sexual harassment.

The punishment was a lap dance from gay prostitutes.

And that’s the lesson today for you moms, and you dads. The more you encourage the idea that women who do not cover themselves from head to toe are definitely inviting sexual abuse, the more you give an excuse to rapists to commit atrocities. More importantly, women owe their own gender a duty to fight against legal, religious and social norms that repress women and give men the excuse to be physically abusive.



  1. This is the second time am reading your blog and I feel our society is in trouble if we follow your opinion. Thank God it is what it is ‘ thougt from an idle mind’, your opinion and not a law from our constitution.


    • It’s a sickness in Nigeria to comment on articles you can barely make sense of – due to a lack in depth or reasoning faculty – but slating or dismissing this clearly straightforward and explicitly written (though for wise minds) is a sin. Kindly Read, Read, and Read until you understand before dropping a comment that portrays you as an asshole. Damn!

      This is plain irreverence borne out of silly tantrums of thinking the society is wired the right way.

      To me, this is a King’s portrayal of what we’ve been shouting about. The society is wired to encourage these crimes and the earlier we raise our children to be different and take the lead, we’ll continue wallowing in our self-inflicted rapist kingdom. Kudos to the idle mind, keep it up.



  3. I do certainly agree that women need to get past condemning each other. A rape victim should not be blamed for her predicament. That said I do not agree that our bodies do not belong to God.our bodies and soul all belong to the most high God.God is very interested in what we do with our bodies plus the Bible states that our body is the temple of the most high, it should be used to glorify him.


    • 🙂 Well, on the thesis that God created humans naked and according to the Bible planted them in Eden naked, it is almost impossible to see how clothing or lack of it dishonours God. It is a man, thing—not a God thing.


      • On the subject of whether God minds us walking naked or not, I don’t really think that is a problem for him, however after the original sin, God himself took animal skin and clothed Adam and Eve his wife (GENESIS 3:21) . So I don’t think the example of nakedness in the garden still holds. However my point in the comment above was about the statement you made that our bodies do not belong to God. I still believe very much that it does and the bible itself lends credence to that. We did not create ourselves and our body belongs to God first even before ourselves.


  4. Great write up, love the way you use images to get points across. I do certainly agree that women need to get past condemning each other. A rape victim should not be blamed for her predicament. That said I do not agree that our bodies do not belong to God.our bodies and soul all belong to the most high God.God is very interested in what we do with our bodies plus the Bible states that our body is the temple of the most high, it should be used to glorify him.


  5. And manueladesola failed to get the drift of this marvelous article…… Pls, read again just like I did and I am still gonna read this again.
    Ayo, you have breached our contract once again. I love this. As always 😀


    • Thanks for the advise, and dont get me wrong. I love this article. It addresses one vital menace in our soociety. You can’t imagine how personally I have been affected. However, if I won’t talk about Ayo’s opinion on how God feels about our body as a christian, his last paragraph, which summarises what he thinks is the cause and solution to the menace, is what I do not agree with. He wrote “And that’s thke lesson today for you women, and you dads. The more you encourage the idea that women who do not cover themselves from head to toe are definitely inviting sexual abuse, the more you give an excuse to rapists to commit atrocities.”


  6. Nice write-up sir. I agree with your postulation that a rapist has no defence or excuse, its an inhumane act and should be condemned and duly punished. At the same time, we should be frank with our women and tell them that their mode of dressing in this age is shameful, immoral and dirty. 2 out of 5 women you come across on a daily basis are always dressed indecently and they even wear their shameful rags to church, that is the height of insanity. Rape is wicked and evil, at the same time we should appeal to our women to apply a sense of modesty in their dressing


  7. Hmm. Rape is wrong. It is worse than animal behavior.
    That something is on display like you said, doesn’t mean it is free. But to the thief, the less secure the display is, the easier it is to steal. That is why people don’t leave their car door open with the keys in ignition.
    In other words, you must learn to protect yourself individually while the general fight goes on.
    Knowing in your mind that rape is wrong will not protect you from getting raped if you walk naked in a dark alley, alone at 1am.
    Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for stern punishment for the rapist and all, but you should not hang out by the fire while sipping petrol. And that is why parents tell their female children those things about dressing, company they keep and the rest of it.
    I will not hesitate to give my daughter or my sister the same advice.

    Good write up though.


    • Thanks. But the gist is about connecting a girl’s dressing to a rapist’s mindset. There are no more rapists in France for all its nude beaches than there are in Iran with its women covered up totally [google?]. There are no fewer rapists in Northern Nigeria than there are in Southern Nigeria. There’s just no connection between dress sense and rape. American men comfortably watch their women in skimpy bikinis on stage, on TV and on beaches–because their mind is mature. Of course, if a girl outrightly provokes moral indignation in a puritan society, lock her up if it is criminally sanctioned. And then warn your daughters that if they do not dress well, they will end up in jail—and not that they will entice rapists.


  8. I love the direction and what this piece addresses. Opinions will always differ but I am an advocate of self control as well. Must you look if it’ll stir something in your loins? Carry eye comot nah. However, Eve should use the present day animal skin too. That way, we meet in the middle. Good work Ayo, big ups


    • 🙂 Thanks! Do you wonder though why “animal skin” and not fig leaves? My theory is: they were covered up for protection from the elements and not for decency. Eden was probably a pleasant environment, but when they were sent out into the hail and rain and harsh sun, they needed more than just fig leaves.


  9. Third party blame – one of the most intelligent angles from which this matter has been viewed, in my opinion. Reading through, I never even winced once, as I inevitably do whenever I read most online articles on the rape/blame subject. In fact, I laughed at that guy getting a lap dance as punishment for his idiocy. Laughed! Ironic, really. Women are the ones with the most power to change the status quo in the end.
    Ayo, thanks for a first.


  10. That’s a disturbingly hard topic to write on. Every 7 billion people in the world think differently. From one side of view, this is a very good premise. From another side, really, should they encourage their issues to dress loosely? & yet from another side, no matter what you think is the cause of rape in the society & no matter how hard you battle it, there’s going to be more & more rape because that’s not really the cause of rape. Nothing is. It’d been for years– before Jesus, before Mohammed, before loose dressing.

    Asking the question is like asking why people kill, or torture, or hurt. Some people were just created with a fracture in their cranium that whispers these shits to them.

    Just a thought too.


  11. Boda Ayo,
    I follow your blog because of the unique perspective you bring and the awesome angles from which you view contemporary issues. I’ve come to look forward to your posts every Monday. And you have never disappointed in providing deep insights.
    I see the seriousness with which you dropped every word on this post. Well done,sir!
    You’re waiting for the ‘but’ right? Okay,this is it…
    ..STAY THE HEAVEN OUT OF RELIGION! Please. Thank you.


  12. @toyinfabs Ayo Sogunro is either obsessed with God or something. He manages to mention Him in almost every blog (directly or indirectly) then he will say some of us are religious. Nevertheless tis a good write, the language though!!!


  13. And I’m late *covers face*… Oh well, dem no dey catch late comer for hia. Same sentiments shared Ayo, wrote an article with a similar premise in my blog about a year ago. There is absolutely no connection between rape and dressing. Why do old women and kids get raped? There is no excuse… Man and the inability to rein those hormones in is at fault. My position is: if she doesn’t grab you by the balls or explicitly state it, then she doesn’t wanna hit the sack with you. 😀


  14. slightly disappointed tbh. nothing new here. reckon it was just a bad week? hopefully.

    Sir sail says it best (apart from the first bit of his comment). there will always be rapists. As there will be murderers.

    Teaching your child appropriate gender bla bla goes to nothing. You may very well birth a sociopath, and those sort enjoy their rape.

    Nothing special about rape. It is at the end, just a crime, whose ‘committers’ will always abound.


  15. This is exclusive,totally different from the regular ape angle/view. In the world of sanity,one don’t need a bible or a quran to know/decide that inflicting such (psychological,emotional)tragic pain on a fellow human is a grave sin,not just against God but also against humanity. And the arguement about diff dresscode in various part of the world not influencing reduce in rape is highly sensible.
    I get excited when I read exclusive unbiased piece like this one.
    Thank you for this.



What is your comment?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.